No one knows the power of the word
hate like a child, especially a four year old. At about four years old, most kids start to use the word
hate with great frequency because it is an age of great frustration. As they become frustrated, kids mimic those around them and react in a similar fashion. Conseqently, it is not uncommon to hear "I hate this boot," "I hate crusts," or "I hate this shirt." However, when your child turns to you and says - with extra stress on the "I" - I...hate you" you realize that you are at a very important juncture. How you react to the moment will begin to formulate how your child learns the power of words.
At this crucial moment, a parent is faced with a few options: 1). walk away 2). redirect the child, so in a sense you ignore the issue, 3). tell the child that "hate" is a strong word and that he should use "not like" instead of hate, or 4). scream back "I hate you, too." I have tried 1-3, but for some reason yelling "I hate you" at a child is beyond me. The experience does allow a parent to rethink how the meaning of hate has changed.
According to
Wikipedia, hate can mean several different things: "Hate can mean
the emotion of hate; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action
dislike intensely; feel antipathy or aversion towards; "I hate Mexican food"; "She detests politicians." However, it can also mean "an emotion of intense revulsion, distaste, enmity, or antipathy for a person, thing, or phenomenon; a desire to avoid, restrict, remove, or destroy its object. Because language is dynamic, the intensity and use of "hate" and "dislike" are more commonly linked than ever.
Are there things I dislike? Yes. But are there things I hate? Not many. I can't think of an intense hatred for anyone that has carried itself from my past into my present. Do I use the word? Yes, but not as much as I used to.
Raising a child allows a person to reconsider the power of words and actions. Sadly or ironically, I don't know if we can learn these lessons in many other ways other then the case where you find yourself responsible for fostering hate in a child.